


Boat Chase!

by shamelessmash



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Case Fic, Crossover, F/M, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, cursed coins, everyone ships John and Sherlock, stake out, waterfront barge museum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessmash/pseuds/shamelessmash
Summary: Sherlock, John and Lestrade are on a case that lead them to Brooklyn, NY. Reluctantly, Sherlock accepts the 99th precincts offer to help with the legwork.Welcome to this Sherlock/Brooklyn 99 crossover, where everyone ships Johnlock, and the case doesn't matter.





	1. Cold Open

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Special thanks to the wonderful [may-shepard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/May_Shepard), [aquacelacqua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquabelacqua), and [shadow-sunsets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowed_sunsets) for beta-ing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cold open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note this story is set about 2 years after S4 of Sherlock (or as I like to call it: what S4?), and was supposed to be set during S2 of B99 pre-Jake/Amy, but the storyline between Diaz and Pimento ended up in there, so uh, please ignore the timelines and go with it?

**COLD OPEN**

EXT. STREET - DAY   
Establishing shot of the street, with a car stopping at a red light. Reveal Detectives ROSA DIAZ and JAKE PERALTA inside the car. Rosa is driving. The light turns green. As the car starts moving, a tall man with black curly hair and a long dark coat, SHERLOCK HOLMES, jumps in front of the car.

INT. ROSA’S CAR - STREET - DAY   
Rosa slams the breaks.

ROSA  
What the hell!

Sherlock slides over the hood of the car and continues running as if he didn’t just almost get hit by a car. A shorter man with blond-ish hair, JOHN WATSON, runs in front of Jake’s car, mouths ‘sorry’ to Jake and Rosa before catching up with Sherlock.

JAKE  
What was that?

A police officer in pursuit of John and Sherlock runs past the car.

ROSA  
( _to Jake_ )  
Go after them, I’ll follow you in the car.

JAKE  
Foot chase!

EXT. STREET - DAY   
Sherlock and John run down the street. The police officer can’t keep up. He gets quickly passed by Jake.

JAKE  
Call dispatch!

The police officer stops running to catch his breath and grabs his shoulder radio.

POLICE OFFICER  
Foot chase in progress in Red Hook.

EXT. STREET ALLEY - DAY   
Sherlock and John run into the alley. There is a door on their left. Sherlock gets to it first and tries the handle. It’s unlocked. Sherlock holds the door open for John and follows him in. Jake runs into the alley just in time to see the door close.

INT. KITCHEN - RESTAURANT - DAY   
John and Sherlock run through the kitchen. There are a few shouts of surprise coming from the staff. They head out a swing door that leads into the dining room.

INT. DINING ROOM - RESTAURANT - DAY   
Sherlock and John come out of the kitchen and look around. On the left is the exit, on the right is the dining room. John looks left and Sherlock looks right. John starts moving towards the exit, Sherlock grabs his arms and drags him in the other direction.

JOHN  
Sherlock what--?

Sherlock pushes John into a booth. Jake comes out of the kitchen. John and Sherlock try to hide themselves with menus. Jake runs towards the exit. An angry cook comes out of the kitchen. He looks towards the exit, then towards the dining room. He sees Sherlock and John.

COOK  
Hey! You two!

Jake stops halfway out the door and turns to see what’s going on. The cook run into the dining room. Jake spots John and Sherlock.

JOHN  
I told you it was a bad idea to run.

Jake runs back in, aiming his gun and showing his badge.

JAKE  
Freeze, NYPD.

When the cook steps in front of their table with Jake behind him. Sherlock stands and shoves the cook, sending both the cook and Jake to the floor. Sherlock runs off. John takes a few steps before turning back to look at the cook and Jake on the floor.

SHERLOCK ( _off screen_ )  
John!

John clenches his jaw and runs towards the exit. Jake untangles himself from under the cook.

JAKE  
Are you okay?

The cook nods. Jake runs out of the restaurant.

EXT. STREET - DAY  
John and Sherlock run down the sidewalk. They are about to cross a street when a car stops right in front of them, tires screeching, blocking their way. The driver window goes down to reveal GREG LESTRADE.

LESTRADE  
Having a little stroll?

SHERLOCK  
What are you doing here?

LESTRADE  
What do you think? Cleaning up your mess.

Sherlock narrows his eyes.

JOHN  
Mycroft?

LESTRADE  
Yeah.

JAKE (off screen)  
Freeze! NYPD!

Reveal Jake standing behind John and Sherlock, his gun aimed at them.

LESTRADE  
What did you do?

JOHN  
What do you think? Sherlock couldn’t keep his bloody mouth shut.

SHERLOCK  
It’s not--

JAKE  
Hands on your head! Turn around slowly!

With a roll of his eyes, Sherlock turns around and raises his hands. John does the same, minus the eye roll. Jake moves closer.

LESTRADE  
Which precinct are you taking them to?

JAKE  
Nine Nine. Why? Who are you?

LESTRADE  
I’ll meet you there.

JAKE  
Wait-

Lestrade drives off. Rosa pulls up with the police officer in the passenger seat.

ROSA  
( _to Jake_ )  
Who was that guy?

JAKE  
( _To Sherlock & John _)  
Yeah, who was that guy?

SHERLOCK  
I believe we have the right to remain silent.

JOHN  
Oh now you’re going to shut up?

SHERLOCK  
God, will you let it go?

JOHN  
Every bloody time.

SHERLOCK  
Oh stop, we’ll be in and out.

JAKE  
Who are you? Thelma and Louise?

ROSA  
Cagney and Lacey.

SHERLOCK  
Who?

CUT TO: BROOKLYN 99 OPENING CREDITS - including the added "Special Guests" 

**END COLD OPEN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After Sherlock's "who?" I just hear that base line and trumpets start in my brain, I can't help it.  
> So we'll say it ends with the Sherlock theme, so it's fair, you know? (also thank you Hubblegleeflower for making me think of that)


	2. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock, John and Lestrade meet the Brooklyn 99 cast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder the case doesn't really matter.

**PART 1**

INT. BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - DAY   
Jake and Rosa walk in with Sherlock and John handcuffed (not together). GINA LINETTI doesn’t see them, her attention is focused on Holt’s office. They sit John at Rosa’s desk and Sherlock at Jake’s desk. AMY SANTIAGO glances up from her work, does a double take when she sees Sherlock sitting not two feet away from her.

AMY  
Oh my God.

Sherlock ignores Amy’s staring by looking at John, who is still annoyed with Sherlock so he's looking anywhere but at him. Jake looks between Sherlock and Amy confused.

JAKE  
Do you know him?

Amy doesn’t respond, just continues staring at Sherlock. Jake frowns and looks at Sherlock.

JAKE  
Do you know her?

Sherlock shakes his head. Jake eyes John, who is looking at Gina, who is now taking pictures of Holt’s office. We get a closer shot of Holt's office where we can see Lestrade inside, talking with RAYMOND HOLT.

ROSA  
Hey, that’s the guy who drove off. What’s he doing with Holt?

Sherlock sees Lestrade and rolls his eyes. John leans back in his chair.

JOHN  
Thank God.

GINA  
What? Rosa, how do you know who that delicious silver fox--  
( _Gina turns towards Rosa and her eyes land on John and Sherlock_ )  
Oh my God.

AMY  
(still staring at Sherlock)  
Oh my God.

JAKE  
(to Gina)  
You know them too?

AMY  
It’s--it’s--

GINA  
Of course, it’s the infamous Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson.

AMY  
( _high pitched squeaking sound_ )

GINA  
What are you two doing on this side of the pond?

Holt and Lestrade come out of Holt’s office.

LESTRADE  
There they are. Did you enjoy your little stroll around Brooklyn?

SHERLOCK  
Just get these off.

LESTRADE  
You get yourself arrested so often, I’m starting to think you like getting handcuffed.

GINA  
If you’re the one with the handcuffs I totally get it.

ROSA  
Down, girl.

LESTRADE  
Captain, if you wouldn’t mind.

HOLT  
Of course. Diaz, Peralta, release Holmes and Watson.

JAKE  
What? Why?

ROSA  
They resisted arrest.

SHERLOCK  
We didn’t ‘resist’ arrest--

JOHN  
You ran off you bloody cock.

HOLT  
Detectives, that’s an order.

Sherlock watches Rosa with daggers in his eyes as she manhandles John out of his handcuffs. Jake looks between John and Sherlock as he frees Sherlock.

ROSA  
Can we at least get some sort of explanation as to why these two are walking free?

LESTRADE  
I’m Detective Inspector Lestrade from Scotland Yard. That is Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson. We’re here to investigate--

SHERLOCK  
No, I’m here to investigate, you’re just a glorified babysitter.

Lestrade glares at Sherlock.

ROSA  
Do you always need your babysitter and doctor to investigate?

Jake laughs. Sherlock glares at Rosa. John and Lestrade bite back smiles.

ROSA  
So you’re with Scotland Yard?

SHERLOCK  
God no.

JAKE  
Then who are you?

SHERLOCK  
A better detective than you’ll ever be.

JAKE  
Excuuuuuse me?

Sherlock narrows his eyes and looks Jake up and down.

JOHN  
Really Sherlock? A deduction two seconds after getting released? If you want to spend the night in jail so badly, just say so.

JAKE  
Deduction?  

Sherlock focus on Jake’s hands for a moment before looking up at his hair.

SHERLOCK  
Mm. Dull.

Jake frowns and touches his hair.

JAKE  
What’s that supposed to mean?

SHERLOCK  
It means you’re not much of a challenge. You’re like an open book. Perhaps a side effect of your hygiene. Or lack thereof.

JAKE  
My what now?

SHERLOCK  
And likely one of the reasons Santiago is reluctant to go on a date.

Jake and Amy look from Sherlock to each other. Amy’s ‘deer in headlights’ look intensifies. Jake gapes.

SHERLOCK  
I’m certain there are other, more obvious reasons why you are a questionable life partner, but I suppose personal hygiene is a good place to start.

Jake looks from Amy to Sherlock.

JAKE  
Not that it’s any of your business, but how is changing my hygiene habits going to improve my chances with Amy?

AMY  
Please tell me Jake is not asking Sherlock Holmes for dating advice right now.

JOHN  
This should be good.

SHERLOCK  
If you don’t bother making an effort for yourself, why would you make one for someone else?

Jake opens his mouth a few times, blinks quickly. Slowly, Jake shuffles to his chair to sit down, lost in thought. Everyone is looking at Jake except John who is staring at Sherlock.

ROSA  
I think you broke Jake.

GINA  
Fascinating.

John inhales as if to speak, takes a step towards Sherlock when there’s a loud crash to his left. Everyone turns to see Scully staring at a puddle of coffee and broken mug pieces on the floor at his feet.

SCULLY  
Aww my coffee.

Whatever John was about to say is lost when he takes a step back, biting his lip. Sherlock looks at John a moment before turning to Holt.  

SHERLOCK  
We’ll be on our way now.

HOLT  
Of course. If you need anything, you know where to find us.

Sherlock nods and walks away. John looks at Lestrade with raised eyebrows.

LESTRADE  
I’ll catch up with you two later.

John nods and catches up to Sherlock. The elevator doors open and CHARLES BOYLE comes out. Sherlock and John enter the elevator. As the doors close, John crosses his arms angrily enough for Sherlock look at him with a frown.

BOYLE  
Hey guys, are we having a group meeting or something?

HOLT  
Boyle, this is Detective Greg Lestrade from Scotland Yard.

BOYLE  
Oh Scotland Yard aye? Pip pip mate.

HOLT  
Don’t do that.

BOYLE  
Right, sorry.

LESTRADE  
Right, well, I better go before they get into some other kind of trouble. Thank you for your help. And sorry again for the um…

Lestrade nods towards Jake and Amy who both look like they want to hide in a hole after Sherlock’s deduction.

HOLT  
No trouble. Thank you for taking the time to discuss the investigation.

Lestrade shakes Holt’s hand and leaves. Gina unabashedly checks him out as he does and makes a few moaning sounds, making everyone cringe.

JAKE  
Can someone please explain who Homie and Doctor Whatshisname are?

GINA  
Jake how dare you call yourself a detective and not know who Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are. You should be ashamed. Shame upon you and your family. Shaaaame.

JAKE  
Still waiting for that explanation.

GINA  
That was Sherlock Holmes, world’s only consulting detective.

JAKE  
Consulting detective?

BOYLE  
Like a P.I.?

Gina slaps Boyle.

BOYLE  
Ow. What was that for?

GINA  
For comparing Sherlock Holmes to a petty Private Investigator.

HOLT  
Gina, stop slapping Boyle. Everyone get back to work.

The group dissipates. Jake sits down at his desk and watches Amy as she collects her things.

JAKE  
Where are you going?

AMY  
I’m just going out to check a possible lead.

JAKE  
You’re going to follow Holmes, aren’t you?

AMY  
No.

JAKE  
Why are you obsessed with him?

AMY  
I’m not obsessed.

JAKE  
Come on Santiago. You couldn’t say more than ‘oh my God’ the entire time he was here.

AMY  
Oh my God. Do you think he noticed?

JAKE  
Uh yeah, yeah, pretty sure him and everyone else noticed. What’s so great about this guy anyway?

AMY  
Holmes’ brain is the peak of deductive reasoning. His solve rate is almost one hundred percent.

JAKE  
Yeah, mine would be too if I could pick and choose my cases.

AMY  
He only takes the hard ones.

JAKE  
What? Really? I mean. Come on. Really?

AMY  
Yes. And I’m going to observe his methods and hopefully pick-up a few things.

JAKE  
Sounds like stalking to me.

AMY  
It’s not stalking.

JAKE  
You’re about to follow someone you don’t know to observe them. That’s the definition of stalking.

AMY  
Fine, I’m gonna stalk him. Bye.

JAKE  
Wait, let me come with you.

AMY  
No.

JAKE  
You need someone to stop you from crossing the restraining order limit.

AMY  
Ugh. Fine. Just hurry up.

EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THE 99TH PRECINCT - DAY  
Amy and Jake come out of the building and look around. There are squad cars everywhere and a few pedestrians on the sidewalk. Amy sighs in frustration.

SHERLOCK ( _off screen_ )  
Taxi!

Amy looks up. Sherlock and John are across the street. A cab stops next to them. Amy grabs Jake’s sleeve.

AMY  
Come on.

INT. AMY’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - DAY  
Jake and Amy are sitting in the car, watching John and Sherlock are on the boardwalk near the museum (museum that is in a boat, on the river) staring out at the river. Jake takes a sip of his blue drink. Amy eyes the blue drink and sighs. Jake frowns, puts down his drink and notices a stain on his sleeve. He tries to covertly rub it away. It does not work.

JAKE  
Why are they at the Waterfront Museum? This is the worst place to visit in Brooklyn. The subway doesn’t even make it here.

AMY  
This is one of Brooklyn’s great historical landmarks. This barge is an old relic from the 1900s when this very location was one of the busiest ports on the east coast. The whole area flourished from the port, creating jobs for thousands of people--

JAKE  
Boooring.

AMY  
You’re the one who insisted on coming.

They see Sherlock and John laugh together then John puts his hand on Sherlock’s back and guides him towards the museum entrance. Jake absentmindedly rubs at the stain on his sleeve.

AMY  
You coming?

Jake snaps his head towards Amy. She is waiting with the door open.

JAKE  
Yeah, let’s go.

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy slides her arm under Jake’s as they walk into the museum. Jake’s eyebrows shoot up. He’s staring at Amy when they are greeted by a bright young man.

MUSEUM CLERK  
Good morning, welcome to the Waterfront Barge Museum.

AMY  
Hi there. Such a beautiful day huh? I’m so happy he insisted we come here for our third date.

Jake sighs and takes out his wallet. He pays their entries while Amy looks around the room. She sees Sherlock and John are standing by the rope display. Sherlock is talking animatedly. John is looking at him with a fond smile. The museum clerk hands Jake his receipt. As they walk, Amy leans closer to Jake.

AMY  
( _whispering_ )  
Two o’clock, rope display.

Jake discreetly looks over his shoulder. He sees them.

AMY  
( _whispering_ )  
I don’t think they saw us.

Amy tightens her hold on Jake’s arm and steers him to a display of old coins.

AMY  
I figured you might like this.

JAKE  
Really, Santiago? Trying to impress me with coins? Do you not know me at all?

AMY  
Not just coins, cursed coins.

JAKE  
Whaaaaat? Like Pirates of the Caribbean cursed coins?

AMY  
Yes! These are what the movie is based on.

JAKE  
They turn you into sea ghouls and everything?

AMY  
Well, no, but they are known to curse anyone who owns them.

JAKE  
Okay, not as cool as I expected, but still pretty cool for something so boring.

AMY  
Boring? These coins are world renowned. This is the main attraction of the museum. Look.

Amy points to the multiple signs around the coins that refer to the legend, including pictures of the movie.

JAKE  
Huh.

Amy looks over Jake’s shoulder towards Sherlock. He is leaning close to John to whisper something. John smiles and nods.

AMY  
I think Holmes saw something.

JAKE  
God, you’re really into this guy, aren’t you?

Amy eyes Jake.

AMY  
Jealous?

JAKE  
Pff, no.

Amy smiles and turns back towards Sherlock and John. Her smile disappears when they are nowhere to be seen.

AMY  
Wait, where did they go?

Jake turns to look.

JAKE  
Huh.

AMY  
Damn it.

Amy quickly walks to the display where Sherlock and John were standing just a moment ago. She looks around. There are a few people blocking the view. When they clear away, Amy sees a door on the left that leads outside. She dashes off towards it, not bothering to check if Jake is following her.

EXT. - PORT DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy bursts out of the exit and looks around. Jake comes out a few seconds later.

AMY  
Damn it!

JAKE  
Did you lose them already?

AMY  
It’s your fault for distracting me.

JOHN ( _offscreen_ )  
You two having a domestic?

Amy turns with a high pitched squeal of surprise before slapping a hand over her mouth to silence herself. Sherlock is standing there with his hands behind his back, looking haunting, with John by his side, arms crossed, looking unimpressed.

JAKE  
Hey, what a coincidence running into you two.

SHERLOCK  
Drop the act. You were ordered not to interfere with my investigation.

JAKE  
Actually, Holt never told us to--

SHERLOCK  
Why are you here?

AMY  
We weren’t interfering, we were observing.

SHERLOCK  
Observing what?

JAKE  
Not what, but who. You see, detective Santiago here is obsessed with--

Amy elbows Jake in the ribs.

AMY  
Observing you. I am somewhat a fan of your work.

SHERLOCK  
Is that so?

AMY  
Yes, your research on ash helped me solve a case my first year as a detective.

JAKE  
Research on ash? That sounds boring.

JOHN  
Very.

AMY  
Are you kidding me? If it hadn’t been for that research, we never would have caught the truck driver. That bust was the first step to take down a human traffic ring. I got promoted after that case.

Sherlock straightens a bit. Fighting off a smile, he turns John. John takes one look at Sherlock and shakes his head.

JOHN  
Don’t let it go to your head.

SHERLOCK  
I’m glad my research has had such an impact on your work, but it’s doesn’t matter; you shouldn’t be here.

AMY  
But we can help.

JAKE  
Yeah, where’s the mark? Is he inside?

JOHN  
We’re fine.

JAKE  
Is he really into boats or something?

AMY  
How about we help cover more ground? Jake and I can take bow, you can take stern--

JAKE  
I don’t know what those words mean but We can call Boyle, get him in the parking lot. If this guy comes anywhere near this place--

JOHN  
Look, thanks the offer, but really--

AMY  
We just want to help--

SHERLOCK  
Leave before I call your Captain.

JAKE  
Alright, alright, let’s stay calm, no need to get Holt involved, we cool we cool we cool. We’ll just go back inside, take a selfie with the cursed coins--  
( _John’s eyes widen. Sherlock’s eyes narrow._ )  
and then we’ll--  
( _Jake gasps loudly._ )  
Oh my God.

AMY  
What?

Jake turns to Amy excitedly.

JAKE  
There was no one suspicious inside--

JOHN  
Except you two--

JAKE  
So why were they in a boring museum in a remote part of town when they said they were tailing a criminal? Because they lied. There is no criminal.

AMY  
Jake--

JAKE  
They have no idea who they are after.  All they know is what they are protecting, which is, drumroll please.

Jake covers his mouth with his hands and does a drumroll sound. Amy rolls her eyes.

AMY  
Jake will you please st-- oh my god the coins. The cursed coins are the target.

JAKE  
Ding ding ding! Cursed coins for the win! And judging by the face you’re both making I nailed it. Bam, mic drop.

JOHN  
Well, it seems they aren’t as incompetent as the Yard.

SHERLOCK  
Barely.

JAKE  
Thank you. I think?

AMY  
Look, we just want to help--

SHERLOCK  
No.

JAKE  
You need eyes on the museum 24/7, which you can't do with just two people.

JOHN  
He’s right.

Sherlock sneers at John.

JOHN  
We'll he is. We have no idea how long this will take.

SHERLOCK  
Weren’t you the one who said a trip abroad would do us some good?

JOHN  
For a week, not a month.

Sherlock stuffs his hands into his coat pocket and pinches his lips.

JOHN  
Do you really want an investigation for Mycroft to last that long?

SHERLOCK  
Fine.

JAKE  
Noice.

AMY  
Oh my god, I’m going to work a case with Sherlock Holmes.

SHERLOCK  
I’m going to regret this.

JOHN  
Probably, yeah.

**END PART 1**


	3. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stake-out time!

**PART 2**

INT. MEETING ROOM - 99TH PRECINCT - DAY  
Jake, Amy, Rosa, Boyle, TERRY JEFFORDS , Gina, NORM SCULLY and MICHAEL HITCHCOCK are sitting at the tables. Lestrade is leaning against the wall on the right hand side, trying to ignore Gina’s lustful staring. Holt is standing at the podium hosting the meeting. Sherlock and John are standing beside Holt.

HOLT  
Now please remember that the success of this case depends on cooperation. Which means it is imperative that you follow Mr Holmes’ instructions.

Holt leaves the podium to Sherlock.

SHERLOCK  
Thank you Captain Holt. Now, at this time--

HITCHCOCK  
I have a question.

SCULLY  
Me too.

Sherlock closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. John clears his throat loudly.

SHERLOCK  
What?

HITCHCOCK  
Who are you?

SCULLY  
And why should we take orders from you?

Sherlock is about to answer when Gina cuts him off.

GINA  
Because he is the great Sherlock Holmes, world’s only consulting detective.

SCULLY  
What, like a P.I.?

Boyle quickly moves out of the way as Gina turns to slaps Scully.

SCULLY  
Ow!

HITCHCOCK  
What did you do that for?

GINA  
For daring to reduce such greatness to the plebian level of Private Detective.

JOHN  
( _to Sherlock_ )  
I think you’ve got another fan.

GINA  
You don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as him.

SHERLOCK  
( _to John_ )  
More like a fanatic.

BOYLE  
So you’re not with Scotland Yard.

SHERLOCK  
No.

BOYLE  
Or with Interpol.

SHERLOCK  
No.

BOYLE  
MI6?

SHERLOCK  
No.

BOYLE  
You just call yourself a detective.

SHERLOCK  
Consulting Detective. I invented the job.

BOYLE  
Captain, I don’t want to question your judgement, but you’re really letting a self proclaimed detective lead the investigation?

JAKE  
I’m with Boyle on this one. Even if he can read me like a book, he’s still a civilian.

JOHN  
You’re the one who insisted to help.

JAKE  
Yeah, well, I still think it’s weird.

HOLT  
Detective Inspector Lestrade can  attest for Mr Holmes’ qualifications. You will follow his lead because I ordered you to.

BOYLE  
Yes sir. Sorry sir.  
( _Boyle turns to Jake_ )  
Sorry Jake, I tried.

Jake leans back in his chair and crosses his arms angrily. Amy barely holds back her smile of satisfaction.

HOLT  
Mr Holmes, please continue.

SHERLOCK  
As I was saying, at this time we know the coins in the Waterfront Barge Museum are the target. With constant surveillance, we’ll determine who and when.

BOYLE  
It’s stake-out time!

SHERLOCK  
Yes.

Sherlock steps away from the podium. Holt takes his place.

HOLT  
Thank you Mr Holmes. Now, we’ll be doing alternating shifts--

SCULLY  
I have a question.

Sherlock sighs heavily.

HOLT  
What is it?

SCULLY  
( _pointing to himself and Hitchcock_ )  
Do we have to do the stake-out?

HOLT  
No.

SHERLOCK & HITCHCOCK  
Thank God.

HOLT  
First shift is Lestrade and Boyle.

Boyle turns to Lestrade with a wide smile.

BOYLE  
Alright, team international, team--

HOLT  
Please refrain from discussing team names until after the meeting.

BOYLE  
Right, sorry.

Lestrade pinches the bridge of his nose.

HOLT  
Next is Diaz and Watson.

Rosa and John nod at each other.

HOLT  
Holmes and Peralta.

AMY  
No!

Everyone looks at Amy.

AMY  
I mean, I volunteer to work with Holmes.

HOLT  
Santiago, teams are not up for discussion.

JAKE  
Yeah Santiago, chill with the fangirling.

SHERLOCK  
I agree.

JAKE  
See? Even he wants you to chill.

SHERLOCK  
No, I agree with the switch.

JAKE  
What?! Why?

Sherlock looks Jake up and down and raises an eyebrow.

SHERLOCK  
Should I start with the obvious or would you prefer in alphabetical order?

GINA  
I vote for alphabetical.

JAKE  
Fine, go with Santiago.

AMY  
Yes. Suck it Peralta.

Holmes raises an eyebrow at Amy.

AMY  
I mean, you won’t regret it Mr Holmes.

SHERLOCK  
We’ll see.

HOLT  
Then it’s settled, Holmes and Santiago. This concludes the meeting. Are there any questions?

SCULLY  
Yes. Can I--

HOLT  
No. Dismissed.

While everyone stands to leave the room, Holt turns to Sherlock.

HOLT  
I’ll be in my office if you need me.

Sherlock nods. Holt leaves. Jake follows him out. Sherlock joins John and Lestrade. Boyle approaches them.

BOYLE  
This is going to be great. We have to stop by his little bodega I know, they have the best stake-out snack foods. How about it _mate_?

LESTRADE  
Don’t call me that.

BOYLE  
Okay. How about stake-out buddy?

LESTRADE  
How about Lestrade.

BOYLE  
Okay, Lestrade. I just need to get my stake out bag before we go.

LESTRADE  
Yeah yeah, I’m right behind you.

BOYLE  
This is gonna be great.

Boyle leaves the room. Lestrade takes a last desperate look at Sherlock and John.

JOHN  
He seems nice.

SHERLOCK  
Have fun.

John tries not to smile and fails.

LESTRADE  
Piss off.

Lestrade leaves. Rosa comes up to John.

ROSA  
Rosa Diaz.

JOHN  
John Watson.

ROSA  
See you in a few hours.

JOHN  
See you in a few hours.

Rosa walks away.

SHERLOCK  
I like her.

JOHN  
Me too.  
( _John shakes his head and turns to Sherlock_ )  
Wait what?

SHERLOCK  
What?

Amy walks up to Sherlock.

AMY  
Mr Holmes, thank you again for agreeing to team up with me. I can give you a tour of the precinct if-

SHERLOCK  
No. We have research to do.

AMY  
Oh research! You should go to the Brooklyn public library, they’ll have the best archives. I’m happy to join, I know that library like the back of my hand.

SHERLOCK  
No.

JOHN  
Sherlock...

AMY  
It’s fine. I guess I’ll see you later then.

Amy walks away slowly, looking over her shoulder intermittently. When she reaches the door she reluctantly goes back to work.

JOHN  
You didn’t have to be mean.

SHERLOCK  
You mean be myself?

JOHN  
You know what I--Never mind. Let’s go.

EXT. BOYLE’S CAR -  WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - DAY  
Boyle and Lestrade are watching the few people walking along the boardwalk. There is nothing suspicious.

BOYLE  
You want to play twenty questions?

LESTRADE  
No.

BOYLE  
Nuts?

LESTRADE  
No thanks.

BOYLE  
Sure?

LESTRADE  
Yes.

BOYLE  
Okay.

Boyle eats nuts loudly. Lestrade is annoyed.

BOYLE  
I was wondering, is it true Holmes called you a glorified babysitter?

Lestrade sighs and nods.

BOYLE  
Is he always so mean to you?

Lestrade laughs.

BOYLE  
You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Why do you work with this guy. 

LESTRADE  
I know at first he’s, well, kind of an arsehole. But once you get to know him, he’s… not that bad.

BOYLE  
He’s that good a detective, huh?

LESTRADE  
He’s bloody brilliant. The stories I could tell… Actually you can read about it on John’s blog.

BOYLE  
So you’re more of a buffer.

LESTRADE  
I guess. I mostly keep him out of jail.

BOYLE  
Ha! Sounds like my ex wife.

LESTRADE  
Tell me about it.

BOYLE  
Oh you’re divorced too?

LESTRADE  
Yeah.

BOYLE  
How long were you together?

LESTRADE  
Ten years.

BOYLE  
Ouch. I was with Eleanor three years before she left me. She was a wonderful woman.

LESTRADE  
If she was so wonderful, why did she leave you?

BOYLE  
She fell in love with my lawyer. I can’t blame her, he’s such a great guy.

LESTRADE  
Huh.

INT. ARCHIVES ROOM - BROOKLYN PUBLIC LIBRARY - DAY  
Sherlock is sitting at a table covered with books, newspapers and old maps. There are shelves of books behind Sherlock. A few books are removed and wee see Santiago peeking through, watching Sherlock. John arrives with two coffee cups and a bag of pastries. Amy ducks until he has passed her. John sets one coffee and pastry in front of Sherlock before sitting down. Sherlock pushes the pastry away.

JOHN  
Eat it. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.

SHERLOCK  
What is it even supposed to be?

JOHN  
Eat it or I will tie you to that chair and force feed you.

Under John’s scrutiny, Sherlock rolls his eyes and nibbles the pastry. They go back to work. John smiles to himself when Sherlock finishes the pastry as he reads. Santiago smiles and leans against a book that falls over and makes a lot of noise.

SHERLOCK  
( _without looking up from his book_ )  
If you’re going to insist on following me, might as well come help.

Amy comes out from behind the shelf and comes over to the table. Sherlock continues reading while John looks up with an apologetic look.

AMY  
What can I do to help?

JOHN  
Anything you can find on Brooklyn or Red Hook that is linked to the cursed coins.

AMY  
Sounds good.

Amy sits down in front of Sherlock and picks one of the books on her right.

SHERLOCK  
Not that one.

Amy reaches for the book next to it.

SHERLOCK  
Already read that one.

Amy reaches for a pile of books on the left.

SHERLOCK  
Not those.

JOHN  
( _without looking up from his book_ )  
Sherlock.

SHERLOCK  
Check the newspapers.

Amy reaches for the newspapers. John looks at his watch.

JOHN  
I should get going.

SHERLOCK  
Hm.

John leans close to Sherlock.

JOHN  
Be nice. And try to eat something else before your shift.

Sherlock rolls his eyes but nods. John squeezes his shoulder before he leaves.

AMY  
How long have you two been together?

Sherlock slowly looks up from his book and stares at Amy.

AMY  
Sorry, I didn’t mean to-

SHERLOCK  
Why do you assume we’re a couple?

AMY  
You’re not?

SHERLOCK  
No. Yet everyone assumes so. Why? 

AMY  
I’m not sure how to explain it…  

SHERLOCK  
Try.

AMY  
I don’t know, the way you two are together?

SHERLOCK  
Try harder.

AMY  
How he worries about you?

SHERLOCK  
John doesn’t worry about me.

AMY  
Then why would he take the time to tell you to eat and be nice to me?

SHERLOCK  
Because he’s a doctor, and he didn’t want you to get hurt.

AMY  
No, it’s because he cares about you, and doesn’t want you to get arrested for being mean to me.

Sherlock raises an eyebrow and looks at Amy suspiciously.

SHERLOCK  
You spoke with Lestrade.

Amy nods.

SHERLOCK  
It doesn’t matter, it’s still  insufficient evidence to assume John and I are in a relationship.

Amy frowns.

AMY  
You really don’t see it, do you?

SHERLOCK  
See what?

Amy leans her elbows on the table.

AMY  
I have read every blog post, article and gossip about you. I actively participated in your fan club after you, uh, temporarily passed away. And you’re right, even with all that, there wasn’t sufficient evidence to speculate that your relationship with Dr Watson went beyond roommates, colleagues, and friends. But now that I’ve had a chance to meet you, to see you interact with each other, well, it’s kind of obvious.

SHERLOCK  
What is?

AMY  
You’re in love with each other.

Sherlock stares at Amy a moment, then blinks rapidly. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. He takes a sip of his coffee, grabs his phone and stands.

SHERLOCK  
I have to go.

AMY  
Wait, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.

Sherlock leaves. Amy slouches in her seat.

EXT. BOYLE’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT  
Lestrade and Boyle are singing a barbershop song together and nailing it. Rosa and John pull up next to Boyle’s car just as their song ends. Boyle notices them and rolls down his window. 

BOYLE  
Oh hey! Is it over already?

ROSA  
Yup. Did you see anything suspicious?

LESTRADE  
Nah, just tourists.

BOYLE  
You hungry? I know this great little Korean BBQ place a few blocks up.

LESTRADE  
How do you know all these spots?

BOYLE  
I have a food blog.

LESTRADE  
Oh really? What’s it called?

Lestrade pulls out his phone.

ROSA  
Just go already.

BOYLE  
Right, right.

Boyle starts the car.

BOYLE  
Well, have a good shift you two!

LESTRADE  
Later mate.

JOHN  
Bye.

Boyle and Lestrade drive off. Rosa and John settle in silence.

INT. BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT  
Amy closes a file and puts it aside loudly and sighs. Gina slows down as she walks past Amy's desk.

GINA  
Why the long face? Did Holmes deduce the fanfiction you wrote about him after his death?

AMY  
No. I asked him how long he’s been with Watson.

GINA  
Oh Amy no.

AMY  
I know. But I was so sure. You should have seen them Gina.

GINA  
What were your exact words? I need to evaluate the damage.

AMY  
Damage?

GINA  
Yes, damage, since you're about to spend hours alone in a car with him.

AMY  
God, what was I thinking?

GINA  
I can’t blame you. Their relationship is fascinating.

Holt walks past them and hears Gina’s last line.

HOLT  
Whose relationship?

GINA  
Holmes and Watson.

HOLT  
Please. Fascinating barely describes the depth and complexity of their love.

AMY  
But that’s the problem sir, they’re not together.

Holt scoffs.

HOLT  
Of course they are.

AMY  
No, they’re not.

HOLT  
Yes. They are.

AMY  
Sir, I asked Holmes about it, he said it himself: they are not together.

Holt pauses and blinks a few times.

HOLT  
What were his exact words?

AMY  
'Why does everyone assume we are together. We’re not.'

Holt gasps.

GINA  
Then what happened?

AMY  
I told him it was obvious they were in love with each other.

GINA  
And then?

AMY  
He left.

HOLT  
He didn’t say anything?

AMY  
He said 'I have to go'.

Holt sits down in the nearest chair.

HOLT  
This can’t be happening.

GINA  
I’m so sorry Captain.

AMY  
It’s almost as if…

HOLT  
What? What is it Santiago?

AMY  
( _to herself_ )  
Does he not know?

GINA  
Who doesn’t know what?

AMY  
( _to herself_ )  
Or both?

HOLT  
Answer the question Santiago. Who doesn’t know what?

AMY  
Sir, I believe they don’t know they are in love with each other.

Holt and Gina gasps.

HOLT  
Dear God.

GINA  
How is that even possible? The sexual tension between those two is so thick you could use it as butter for that sweet sex cake they’re gonna enjoy together.

AMY  
I know right? I mean, they live together. You’d think one of them would notice or say something at some point.

HOLT  
You underestimate the ability the British have to repress their emotions.

AMY  
Like you?

HOLT  
I don’t repress my emotions. Can’t you see I'm a complete mess right now?

GINA  
Yeah Santiago! Look at him! A mess!

HOLT  
Perhaps I should take your place tonight.

AMY  
No, it’s my mess, I'll clean it up.

HOLT  
You better. The fate of true love lies in your hands. My office, five minutes. We need to prepare you for tonight.

GINA  
Can I come?

EXT. ROSA’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT  
John and Rosa sit silently in the car.

JOHN  
Any place we could get tea?

ROSA  
No.

JOHN  
Coffee?

ROSA  
No.

INT. HOLT’S OFFICE - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT  
Holt is sitting behind his desk, Amy is sitting in front of him. Gina is leaning against the door.

HOLT  
We have two hours to get you ready for your shift with Holmes. Let’s make the most of it.

GINA  
Are you really gonna wear that?

AMY  
What’s wrong with my outfit?

GINA  
What isn’t wrong with it?

HOLT  
It’s too late, the damage is done. We need to focus on how to get Holmes and Watson to admit their love for each other.

GINA  
You ship ‘em real hard, dontcha Captain?

HOLT  
Harder than a Terry loves yogurt.

GINA  
Oh damn.

AMY  
Oh damn.

GINA  
Dat hard.

HOLT  
Damn hard.

EXT. ROSA’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT  
Rosa and John silently look around at the boardwalk and museum. Rosa sees one man come around the corner of the museum.

ROSA  
Over there, in the brown coat and jeans. He’s walked past the museum four times in the last thirty minutes.

JOHN  
five times.

ROSA  
Four.

JOHN  
Five.

ROSA  
Whatever, he’s suspicious. We should call it in.

JOHN  
Call what in, we don’t know his name.

ROSA  
What do you suggest then.

JOHN  
I could pickpocket him.

ROSA  
You do understand I’m a police officer and that pickpocketing is a crime?

JOHN  
I’ll give it back. We just need his name.

ROSA  
You’re serious.

JOHN  
It’s efficient.

ROSA  
You’ve got some balls.

JOHN  
Thanks. I think.

John gets out of the car. He walks quickly from the parking lot to the boardwalk. Once he’s on the boardwalk, he slows down and takes out his phone. As he makes his way towards the suspect, John looks from his phone to what’s around him, looking left and right. The suspect walks past just as John was turning around and bumps into him. John grabs the suspect’s arm while his other hand pulls the suspect's wallet out of his jacket.

JOHN  
Sorry mate.

John pockets the wallet.

SUSPECT  
Watch where you’re goin’.

The suspect walks away. John’s keeps an eye on the suspect as he takes out the wallet and takes a picture of his drivers licence. John throws the wallet a few feet ahead of him.

JOHN  
Hey! Did you drop your wallet?

The suspect turns around, sees John pointing to the wallet on the ground. The suspect pats his jacket and walks towards John. John picks up the wallet and hands it to the suspect. The suspect opens it, checks the contents and puts it back into his jacket.

SUSPECT  
Thanks.

The suspect eyes John quickly before leaving. John continues wandering around the boardwalk until the suspect is gone, then walks back to Rosa’s car. John checks his phone when he nears the car, smiling. He hands his phone to Rosa as soon as he’s in the car.

ROSA  
Nice lift.

JOHN  
Thanks, I don’t get a lot of practice. 

Rosa takes out her phone and calls Terry.

ROSA  
Sarge, we have a lead.

INT. HOLT’S OFFICE - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT  
There’s a knock at the door. Amy, Gina and Holt all look up/turn to see who’s there. Holt waves Terry in.

HOLT  
What is it Sargeant? We’re a bit busy here.

TERRY  
Diaz just called. They have a name: Lance Turner.

HOLT  
Good. You look into it.

Terry turns to leave.

HOLT  
Sargeant wait.

Terry turns back to face Holt.

HOLT  
What would you say to someone you’ve been in love with for years and finally have the courage to tell them?

Terry looks from Holt to Amy to Gina who are all watching him expectantly.

TERRY  
What is this about exactly?

GINA  
We're saving love.

HOLT  
Well said.

TERRY  
Okay.

Terry leaves. Sherlock walks into the bullpen.

AMY  
Oh my God Holmes is here.

HOLT  
Already?

GINA  
God he’s so beautiful. I could cut myself slapping those cheekbones.

HOLT  
Stop that right now. He is meant for one person and one person only. Santiago remember what we discussed. You can do this.

AMY  
Thank you sir.

Amy walks out of Holt’s office.

GINA  
Don’t mess it up!

EXT. ROSA’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT  
John and Rosa are still keeping a lookout, but they are talking animatedly (well, I say animatedly, but it’s pretty much the same as earlier except they’re actually talking and looking at each other now).

ROSA  
He what?

John stares straight ahead with a clenched jaw.

ROSA  
He really didn’t leave you a note? A clue? something?

JOHN  
Doesn’t matter. He’s back now.

ROSA  
That must have been hard as hell. I had someone like that. Undercover cop. Had a price on his head, went into hiding the night before our wedding. When it was all over, he was supposed to come back. He didn’t. It took six months. For six months I thought he was dead. Because I didn’t want to think he didn’t care about me anymore. Those were the worst six months of my life. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see him… and then come back two years later. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably break something. Something big.

JOHN  
Erm, we’re not, I mean, I’m sorry that happened to you, but Sherlock, he’s not-- we’re not a couple.

Rosa frowns.

JOHN  
He doesn’t… He’s married to his work.

ROSA  
Hey, it’s none of my business. You don’t have to talk about it.

JOHN  
Thanks.

ROSA  
But you two are idiots.

JOHN  
Excuse me?

ROSA  
Even a blind person could tell you two are dancing around each other. You probably regretted not saying something when you thought he was dead, because I sure did. I should have run off with him. Eloped in the Caribbean. You got a second chance. Don’t waste it by playing it safe.

JOHN  
It’s not that simple.

ROSA  
Yeah, nothing is. But is he worth it?

John looks away.

**END PART 2**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is so silly. So much fun to write.


	4. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stake-out and sillyness continues.

**PART 3**

INT. AMY’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT   
Sherlock and Amy drive into the parking lot. As they approach Rosa’s car, they see Rosa and John laughing together.

AMY  
Oh my God, is Rosa smiling? She never smiles.

Sherlock watches John and Rosa, jaw clenched. Rosa’s smile disappears when she sees Amy’s car. Rosa says something. John turns. His smile fades into a tight line. Rosa says something again. John nods. Amy parks next to Rosa’s car. Rosa and Sherlock roll down their windows.

AMY  
Looks like you two had a good time.

ROSA  
It was fine.

JOHN  
Yeah. Fine.

Sherlock raises an eyebrow at John. John raises an eyebrow back.

AMY  
Congrats on that lead. Sergeant pulled up Turner’s file. He has two priors, one for car theft and one for boat theft. He sent out Boyle and Lestrade to bring him in for questioning.

JOHN  
( _to Sherlock_ )  
So what are you doing here? Don’t you want to question him yourself?

SHERLOCK  
Of course. After he ‘stews for a few hours’, as Captain Holt put it.

John frowns. Sherlock shrugs.

SHERLOCK  
He insisted.

JOHN  
And you said yes?

SHERLOCK  
You’re the one who keeps telling me to be more patient.

JOHN  
Yeah, but I didn’t think you were actually listening.

SHERLOCK  
Well. I was.

John licks his lips and smiles.

ROSA  
You two done flirting? Can we go now?

Amy’s eyes widens at Rosa's words. John eyes Sherlock.

JOHN  
Yeah, we can go.

Sherlock’s eyes go wide at John's words.

JOHN  
Text me if there’s anything, yeah?

Sherlock continues staring.

ROSA  
Right, well... Bye.

JOHN  
Bye.

Amy snaps herself out of her daze.

AMY  
Bye.

Long pause. Everyone turns towards Sherlock who is still staring at John but with his eyes glazed over a bit. Sherlock inhales sharply, suddenly remembering to breathe.

SHERLOCK  
Bye.

Rosa drives off. Sherlock’s eyes stay on the car until it’s out of sight. Amy side-eyes Sherlock as she looks around the area.

AMY  
So, what do you normally do during a stake out?

Sherlock blinks and leans back in his seat.

SHERLOCK  
Stay focused on the target.

AMY  
Well, yes, obviously, but I meant--

SHERLOCK  
I know what you meant. I am not interesting in chit chat, playing games, or trading stories about old cases to pass the time. We’re here to work. That does not require talking, so we’re not going to talk.

AMY  
I just thought--

SHERLOCK  
Why are you still talking?

Amy’s closes her mouth. Sherlock takes a deep breath and settles in his seat. The silence lasts about three seconds.

AMY  
I wanted to apologize for what I said at the library. I didn’t mean to upset you.

SHERLOCK  
You didn’t.

AMY  
Good. I also wanted you to know that if you ever want to talk about--

SHERLOCK  
My relationship with John is none of your business.

AMY  
I know, I know, and again, I'm sorry. But that’s not what I want to talk to you about.

Sherlock turns to Amy, intrigued.

AMY  
I was hoping to discuss some sort of mentorship with you.

SHERLOCK  
No.

AMY  
But I--

SHERLOCK  
I’m not mentor material.

AMY  
Are you kidding me? You’re the Sherlock Holmes. I have been studying your technique for years. It has helped me so many times that I should credit you in my case notes.

Sherlock turns his attention back to the museum.

SHERLOCK  
Still doesn't make me mentor material.

AMY  
Look, I never thought I’d get to meet you one day, let alone work a case together. I’d be an idiot not to ask. Just… think about it. I know this isn’t your sort of thing, and it’s okay if it doesn’t work out. I-I’m just glad we had our time together.

SHERLOCK  
Stop that.

AMY  
Stop what?

SHERLOCK  
Talking.

AMY  
Okay. Whatever you want. It’s all fine.

Sherlock looks Amy up and down and sneers. He’s about to start speaking when Jake knocks on Amy’s window.

AMY  
Ah! What the--

Amy rolls down her window.

AMY  
Jake, what are you doing here?

JAKE  
Well, I was in the neighborhood--

AMY  
You live on the other side of Brooklyn.

JAKE  
Doesn’t matter I’m here now.

Jake gets inside the car and settles in the middle of the back seat.

JAKE  
I heard we have a lead.

Amy discreetly takes out her phone.

AMY  
We do. Lance Turner.

Amy quickly types out a text to Holt.

JAKE  
Watson’s got some skillz.

Sherlock and Amy frown.

AMY  
What do you mean?

Amy sends the text and puts her phone away.

JAKE  
Didn’t you hear? Watson pickpocketed the suspect to get the picture of his driver’s licence.

AMY  
What!? And Diaz let him do it?

JAKE  
Well, I mean, he gave it back.

SHERLOCK  
Of course he did.

JAKE  
Uh, why do you sound like you wouldn’t have given it back.

SHERLOCK  
A spare wallet can prove useful.

Jake is about to say something when his phone rings.

JAKE  
Hey Captain, what’s up?

SHERLOCK  
Does he always talk to the Captain like that?

AMY  
Sadly, yes.

JAKE  
I’m at home, why?

SHERLOCK  
Is that really the kind of man you want to be with?

AMY  
It’s complicated.

JAKE  
Oh, she texted you, didn’t she?

Jake covers his phone.

JAKE  
Really Amy? Snitching on me?

AMY  
Yes, because you’re not supposed to be here.

JAKE  
I-- What? No Captain, we’re fine, really, I’m happy to help. Okay byyyyye.

We distinctly hear Holt objecting before Jake hangs up.

AMY  
Did you just hang up on Holt?

Sherlock opens his door.

SHERLOCK  
I’ll let you two sort this out.

AMY  
Wait, no, don’t go.

SHERLOCK  
I’ll stay in sight.

Sherlock gets out of the car. Amy and Jake watch Sherlock walk away, flipping up his collar, smoothing down the front of his coat before slipping his hands into his coat pockets.

JAKE  
Did this guy go undercover as a model or something?

AMY  
Jake, why are you here? You’re ruining everything.

JAKE  
Judging by the face he was making when I got here, you didn’t need my help to ruin things.

AMY  
I wasn’t-- Why are you here?

JAKE  
I was bored.

AMY  
Come on Jake.

Jake looks at Amy a moment before looking away. He sees Sherlock following someone towards the museum.

JAKE  
Oh no.

Jake gets out of the car.

AMY  
Jake, don’t you dare leave--  
( _Amy sees the guy following Sherlock_ )  
Oh no.

Amy gets out of the car.

EXT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM BOARDWALK - NIGHT  
Amy catches up with Jake and together they walk down the boardwalk, then turn left towards the museum. When they come near the barge, they hear some noise, making them run the rest of the way. Sherlock is fighting the man he was following. From up close he turns out to be a teenager.

JAKE  
Freeze, NYPD!

The teenager panics, hits Sherlock on the head and runs away. Sherlock falls to the ground unconscious.

JAKE  
Stay with Holmes. I’ll get this punk.

Amy kneels next to Holmes and checks his vitals.

EXT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT   
The punk runs into the parking lot, looking over his shoulder. Jake comes in a few seconds later, running full speed, and tackles the teenage punk.

INT - BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT   
John is sitting at the end of Rosa’s desk. He checks his phone again.

ROSA  
Still no response?

John shakes his head.

ROSA  
Amy is probably keeping him busy.

John brushes a hand through his hair. The elevator dings and the door opens. Amy walks out, holding the handcuffed teenager. Behind them is Jake, who is helping Sherlock walk.

JOHN  
Sherlock!

John runs to Sherlock and takes him from Jake.

ROSA  
Whoa, what happened? Shouldn’t you be at a hospital?

Jake gives Sherlock an angry glare. Sherlock rolls his eyes. Amy sits the teenager down on the chair next to her desk.

AMY  
The short version is that Holmes said no to the hospital.

SHERLOCK  
Because I’m fine.

AMY  
You could have a concussion--

SHERLOCK  
I know what a concussion feels like. This isn’t it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a suspect to interrogate.

John stops Sherlock with a hand to his chest.

JOHN  
You can talk to Turner after I take a look at you.

SHERLOCK  
I said I’m fine.

John opens his mouth, closes it. He takes away his hand off Sherlock’s chest and takes a step back.

JOHN  
Fine. Go.

SHERLOCK  
Really?

JOHN  
You don’t want to take care of yourself? Fine. Why would I care? Why would anyone care about you if you don’t bother.

Sherlock and John’s eyes lock. Amy and Rosa watch silently. Jake looks from John to Sherlock.

JAKE  
I have no idea what’s going on.

SHERLOCK  
Santiago?

AMY  
Yes?

SHERLOCK  
Where’s the med kit?

ROSA  
I’ll get it. I need a break from all the eye sex.

Rosa leaves.

AMY  
Use the couch in the break room. It’s the most comfortable spot we have.

Jake and Amy watch Sherlock and John walk into the break room.

HOLT (off screen)  
Peralta, Santiago.

Jake and Amy turn around. Holt is standing just outside his office.

HOLT  
My office. Now.

Holt returns into his office, leaving the door open.

AMY  
Oh God.

JAKE  
Yeah, that is not good.

AMY  
This is all your fault.

JAKE  
It’s my fault Holmes ran after a perp?

AMY  
It’s your fault he got out of the car.

INT. HOLT’S OFFICE - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT   
Holt is sitting at his desk. Amy and Jake knock at the open door. Holt leans back in his chair.

HOLT  
Shut the door.

AMY  
Sir before you say anything, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for what happened.

HOLT  
There’s no need to apologize. This is perfect.

AMY  
What?

JAKE  
What?

HOLT Holmes injured, Watson caring for him. This is a great opportunity for them to take it to the next level.

JAKE  
I don’t understand.

AMY  
We’re trying to get them together.

JAKE  
You’re--wait. You’re playing matchmaker and you haven’t gotten Boyle involved?

Holt pauses and looks at Amy.

HOLT  
He’s right. We need Boyle.

JAKE  
I was kidding. Wow you are really into these two.

INT. BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT   
Holt comes out of his office. He looks around the bullpen before focusing his attention on the closed door of the breakroom. Holt takes a few steps closer to the breakroom, attempting to get a better view of the inside. Sherlock and John are there and appear to be deep in conversation. Terry comes up to Holt.

HOLT  
Ah Sergeant, there you are. Have you seen Boyle?

TERRY  
Sir, it’s been an hour. I need to talk to Holmes.

HOLT  
No. No one disturbs them.

TERRY  
Sir, we can’t interrogate Lance Turner without Holmes, and we can’t process the kid for assault without Holmes pressing charges.

HOLT  
So the assault on Holmes had nothing to do with the investigation?

TERRY  
No, the kid just got scared and jumped him.

HOLT  
Perhaps Holmes will drop the charges.

TERRY  
I wouldn’t know, I’m not allowed to ask him.

HOLT  
I understand your frustration but it is very important they not be disturbed.

TERRY  
Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too seriously?

HOLT  
A little too seriously? Sergeant Jeffords I am disappointed by your attitude. You once claimed to love love. Where is that love now? Do you not want them to be happy? You don’t think they deserve their  chance at love? The same love you share with your family?

TERRY  
I didn’t mean--

HOLT  
Don’t they deserve to be loved?

JOHN (off screen)  
Is everything alright Captain?

Holt turns around, eyes wide. John and Sherlock are standing just outside the breakroom. Sherlock has a bandage on his forehead. They both look tired.

HOLT  
Yes. Fine. How’s your head?

Sherlock looks Holt and Terry up and down with a suspicious look.

SHERLOCK  
Fine. I’m cleared to talk to Lance Turner.

Terry straightens and smiles.

TERRY  
Great, let’s go.

Sherlock and John follow Terry out of the bullpen.

INT. BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - NIGHT (LATER)   
Boyle walks across the bullpen, mumbling to himself.

TERRY  
You okay Boyle?

BOYLE  
I’m working on a hard one Sarge.

TERRY  
You want to talk it out?

Terry signals Boyle to sit down. Boyle sits at the end of Terry’s desk.

BOYLE  
If you don’t mind, I’m stumped. No idea what to do.

TERRY  
Start from the beginning.

BOYLE  
Well, Holt call me to his office and asked me to help get Holmes and Watson to admit their love to each other.

TERRY  
What? Boyle, no. Not you too? God, what is wrong with everyone? It’s as if the case doesn’t matter.

BOYLE  
Terry you don’t understand. These two are destined to be together.

Amy and Jake walk into the bullpen.

TERRY  
You say that about every woman you meet. You even say that about Jake and Amy.

JAKE  
Say what?

BOYLE  
Okay I sometimes exaggerate with the women I meet, but Jake and Amy are perfect for each other and you know it.

AMY  
Not this again.

BOYLE  
However, when it comes to Holmes and Watson, oh Sarge, their love will inspire works of art. It will transcend time.

TERRY  
Calm down.

BOYLE  
I mean it Terry, go read Watson’s blog. It’s like, why aren’t they together already? They have been living together and working together for years. They have been to hell and back. I mean, Holmes had to fake his death to save Watson’s life.

TERRY  
What? For how long?

AMY  
Two years.

TERRY  
Two years?!

JAKE  
Two years?

BOYLE  
Two years!

TERRY  
Did Watson know?

BOYLE  
No, it would have been too dangerous.

JAKE  
Damn. That’s intense.

TERRY  
Real intense.

BOYLE  
You think that’s intense? When he came back, Holmes had to be best man at Watson’s wedding.

TERRY  
Wait what? Watson got married?

BOYLE  
Yup. To Mary Morstan.

TERRY  
He married a woman?

BOYLE  
Not just any woman. A contract killer that was planted as a failsafe to kill Watson if Holmes ever came back.

TERRY  
Oh damn. Then what happened?

BOYLE  
Go read the blog Terry, I don’t have time to explain the depth and complexity of their relationship. I need to figure out a way for them to admit their love to one another.

TERRY  
Undercover on a date?

BOYLE  
No, ordinary dates don’t work for those two.

JAKE  
What about the ‘we’re about to die’ declaration? We could fake a bomb or something.

AMY  
They did that already, it didn’t work.

BOYLE  
Yeah but Mary is out of the picture this time.

AMY  
No, we need a foolproof plan.

Lestrade walks into the bullpen.

LESTRADE  
There you are. You ready? I’m starving.

BOYLE  
Oh, maybe you can help. We’re trying to figure out how to get Holmes and Watson to admit their love.

LESTRADE  
God, I can’t wait for those two to get their heads out of their asses and kiss already. But it’s no use.

BOYLE  
What do you mean?

LESTRADE  
Those two are the most stubborn idiots I have ever met. It’s best to let things run their course. They will talk when they’re ready. Can we try that Mongolian place you were talking about?

BOYLE  
Sure.

LESTRADE  
Noice.

Lestrade and Boyle high five.

JAKE  
What is happening?

TERRY  
This is terrifying.

JAKE  
It’s like Boyle infected him, but Lestrade managed to maintain his sex appeal.

TERRY  
I am so confused.

AMY  
Is Lestrade somehow making Boyle a little bit hotter? Oh my God what did I just say?

JAKE  
No, no I see it too. So weird.

TERRY  
So weird.

**END PART 3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i listened to myself this fic would never end because SO MANY WAYS THIS COULD GO + SO MANY JOKES. For the sake of story/rhythm, i have made editing choices (God i cut so many jokes it hurts).  
> Good news is, I have been convinced to write a halloween heist. It's all Shadow-sunsets's fault.


	5. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boat chase!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, it helps to know of some basics on nautical terms.  
> Stern/aft: back of the ship  
> Bow: front of the ship  
> Port: left-hand side of the boat when you are facing the bow.  
> Starboard: right-hand side of the boat when you are facing the bow  
> Cabin: room at the top of the ship where the pilot steers

**PART 4**

INT. MEETING ROOM - 99TH PRECINCT - DAY  
Holt is standing at the podium. Everyone -- Sherlock, John and Lestrade included -- is sitting at the tables. Amy is wearing a coat similar to Sherlock’s.

HOLT  
Thank you everyone for coming in on the weekend. With the information gathered from the interrogation of our suspect Lance Turner--

AMY  
You mean how Holmes crushed him in interrogation.

JAKE  
He didn’t crush him that much.

LESTRADE  
Turner cried like a baby.

TERRY  
He threatened the precinct with a harassment lawsuit.

SHERLOCK  
An empty threat, he couldn’t afford the legal fees.

JAKE  
How could you possibly know that?

SHERLOCK  
The same reason I know Santiago doesn’t like your shirt. I observe.

JAKE  
What’s wrong with my shirt?

GINA  
Is this another one of those delightful ‘it came with the apartment’ items you keep thinking is a good thing?

ROSA  
It sucks.

John and Terry nod.

AMY  
And would it kill you to iron it?

JAKE  
I can’t take anything you say seriously with that coat.

AMY  
What’s wrong with my coat?

JAKE  
It’s a wannabe Holmes coat and you know it.

GINA  
It’s still better than that shirt.

BOYLE  
I like Jake’s shirt.

JAKE  
See?

Gina grunts in disgust. Amy rolls her eyes. Lestrade leans closer to Boyle. 

LESTRADE  
Charles. We talked about this.

Boyle looks down. Jake frowns. Boyle takes a deep breath.

BOYLE  
Jake… I--I…

Boyle looks at Lestrade.

LESTRADE  
Just like we rehearsed. You can do it.

Boyle nods and faces Jake.

BOYLE  
Jake, I’m saying this as your friend: I don’t like your shirt.

Jake gasps, hand on his chest.

BOYLE  
Its awful.

JAKE  
Charles, I don’t understand.

BOYLE  
I’m sorry Jake.

JAKE  
How could you?

BOYLE  
It’s for your own good.

JAKE  
This is all your fault Greg. Coming in here with your silver foxyness and charm and--

BOYLE  
Leave Greg out of this.

JAKE  
Is he your new bff now? Why are you replacing me!?

JOHN  
( _to Rosa_ )  
What’s a bff?

ROSA  
Best friends forever.

JOHN  
Oh. So he’s not…

ROSA  
Not what?

JOHN  
Not… you know.

ROSA  
No. I don’t know.

JOHN  
He’s not… interested?

ROSA  
In clothes?

JOHN  
No, in-- Never mind.

ROSA  
You think Lestrade might be into Boyle?

JOHN  
What? No, Lestrade isn’t--

John looks at Lestrade. He’s massaging Boyle’s shoulders while he talks with Jake.

ROSA  
You sure about that?

John looks from Rosa, to Lestrade, to Sherlock, and frowns. Sherlock’s watching him and Rosa like a hawk. John raises an eyebrow. Sherlock looks away.

LESTRADE  
I have a backup shirt you can borrow.

JAKE  
I don’t want your pity shirt.

GINA  
I’ll take it.

JAKE  
No, it’s mine! I mean, fine, whatever, I’ll take the pity shirt. But I won’t like it!

GINA  
Give me the pity shirt, I’ll show it the love it deserves. It will have a special place in my closet, next to Terry’s ripped shirts.

TERRY  
What? I throw away those shirts.

GINA  
I know you do, which is why I bribed the janitor to--

HOLT  
Please continue this frankly disturbing discussion about clothing after the meeting.

SHERLOCK  
Thank God.

HOLT  
As I was saying, the interrogation of Lance Turner confirmed the heist is scheduled for today.  
( _Holt points to a picture on the whiteboard behind him_ )  
This man, Dean Chester, is our target.

JAKE  
Is that really his name? It’s like he was destined to become a thief.

ROSA  
What’s wrong with his hair?

TERRY  
And with his moustache?

GINA  
Why do bad guys in real life always look like caricatures of bad guys on TV?

HOLT  
Regardless, he is our target. Lance Turner confirmed Chester paid him a large sum to get access to the museum’s security information. The success of this mission is dependent on catching Chester stealing the coins. Holmes and Watson will be posted inside the museum. Peralta and Santiago outside. The rest of us will be in the backup van. Any questions?

GINA  
Just one: if Lestrade’s shirt get accidently ripped, I can have it, right?

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Sherlock and John are walking inside the museum, surveilling the cursed coins display.

JOHN  
How’s your head?

SHERLOCK  
Same as last night. And this morning. And before we left the precinct.

JOHN  
I wouldn’t have to ask if you had gotten an x-ray.

SHERLOCK  
Oh for God’s sake, will you let it go? I was fine yesterday and I’m still fine now. I know when it’s worth wasting time at a hospital.

JOHN  
Wasting time? See this is exactly what I meant last night. If you don’t take care of yourself, or at least show some type of self preservation, I can’t--

An elderly couple walks past them. John takes a step back and turns away from Sherlock. Sherlock waits for the couple to be out of ear shot to speak.

SHERLOCK  
John, I didn’t mean to--

JOHN  
No. You never do. That’s the problem, isn’t it?

SHERLOCK  
I meant what I said last night.

JOHN  
It doesn’t mean anything if you say one thing and then do the opposite.

JAKE  
_(on headset)_  
Hey, I don’t mean to cut in buuuut…

INT. - JAKE’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING - DAY  
Jake, wearing Lestrade’s back-up shirt, is smiling like crazy. Amy, still wearing the Holmes-ish coat, is covering her mouth with her hand, eyes wide.

JAKE  
You do understand that with the headset you’re wearing, we can hear everything you say, right?

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
John looks away, blushing. Sherlock clenches his jaw and stuffs his hands into his coat pockets.

INT. BACKUP VAN - A FEW BLOCKS FROM THE MUSEUM - DAY  
Holt pinches the bridge of his nose. Diaz has a smile tugging at her lips. Boyle is smiling like crazy. Lestrade is trying not to laugh. 

INT. JAKE’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING - DAY

JAKE  
I don’t mind listening to you two work things out, I just thought you’d want to know.

AMY  
Shut up, Jake.

JAKE  
But you said yourself that they’re totally made for each other, I thought you’d be happy they’re--

Amy claps her hand over Jake’s mouth.

SHERLOCK  
( _on headset_ )  
You do know this works both ways?

JOHN  
( _on headset_ )  
That we can also hear everything you say?

INT. BACKUP VAN - A FEW BLOCKS FROM THE MUSEUM - DAY  
Rosa snorts a laugh. Boyle and Lestrade laugh. Holt shakes his head. 

INT. - JAKE’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING - DAY  
Jake mumbles something unintelligible through Amy’s hand when the suspect, Dean Chester, walks by Jake’s car.

AMY  
Isn’t that--?

Jake nods. Amy’s hand drops away from Jake’s face to press her fingers to her ear.

AMY  
Chester just walked past us.

JAKE  
He’s heading your way.

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
John and Sherlock move towards the entrance.

JOHN  
Copy that.

EXT. JAKE’S CAR - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM PARKING - DAY  
Jake and Amy watch Chester cross the parking lot towards the boardwalk.

HOLT  
( _on headset_ )  
Keep a visual on Chester.

SHERLOCK  
( _on headset_ )  
Don’t interfere unless I tell you too.

Jake rolls his eyes.

JAKE  
We know.

AMY  
Come on.

Amy and Jake get out of the car.

EXT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Jake and Amy follow Chester down the boardwalk. He turns left towards the museum. Amy and Jake hide behind a museum sign. Amy flips up her collar. Jake frowns.

JAKE  
Are you flipping your collar up to try to look cool?

AMY  
No. I’m cold.

JAKE  
It’s 70 degrees.

AMY  
It’s windy.

JAKE  
Oooh, you’re doing Holmes’ collar flip thing. That's why you have the coat.

AMY  
( _unconvincingly_ )  
No.

JAKE  
I get it, the whole mysterious look with his cheekbones and perfect hair.

AMY  
Right?

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
John and Sherlock are standing on either side of the entrance. Sherlock is smirking smugly. John rolls his eyes.

AMY  
( _on headset_ )  
Suspect is ten feet from the main entrance.

John and Sherlock nod to each other. Sherlock grabs a flyer from the stand along the wall and fake reads it. John does the same with his phone. They wait. No one walks in. Sherlock looks from the door to John. John takes a step towards the door and looks outside. There’s no one there.

AMY  
( _on headset_ )  
We have a problem.

EXT. BEHIND THE MUSEUM SIGN - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy and Jake are watching Chester untying the ropes that keep the barge ashore.

AMY  
Chester isn’t going inside, he’s untying the barge.

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
John and Sherlock look at each other.

JOHN  
If he--

SHERLOCK  
Yes.

JOHN  
Then we’re about to--

SHERLOCK  
Yes.

INT. BACKUP VAN - DAY  
Lestrade, Boyle and Rosa look at Holt.

HOLT  
Oh no.

EXT. BEHIND THE MUSEUM SIGN - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Jake and Amy are watching Chester untying the barge.

JAKE  
What’s happening right now?

AMY  
Chester isn’t after the coins, he’s after the barge. Keep up, Peralta.

JAKE  
Really? But this thing doesn’t even have a motor. How is he going to steal it?

AMY  
With that towboat.

Amy points to the towboat in front of the barge.

JAKE  
Like a tow truck?

AMY  
Yes.

JAKE  
Oooh.

INT. BACKUP VAN - A FEW BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE MUSEUM - DAY  
Lestrade, Boyle, Rosa, and Holt look at each other.

ROSA  
Do we have a boat?

HOLT  
We do not. Boyle, call dispatch. Get us a boat.

JAKE  
( _on headset_ )  
Boat chase!

AMY  
( _on headset_ )  
It’s a barge.

JAKE  
( _on headset_ )  
Barge chase!

BOYLE  
Boyle to dispatch, we need a boat to chase a barge.

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Sherlock is standing next to John in front of the main entrance.

SHERLOCK  
Where’s Chester now?

AMY  
( _on headset_ )  
Stern deck. He’s on the last rope.

Sherlock looks at the exit sign at the far end of the museum, then back to John.

SHERLOCK  
You go out through the back, I’ll take the main entrance. Santiago, Peralta, once we’re out you get the museum evacuated.

AMY  
( _on headset_ )  
Got it.

They’re about to split up when Sherlock grabs John’s arm.

SHERLOCK  
Be careful.

John’s eyes grow soft.

JOHN  
I will if you are.

They stare at each other, longer than they should under the circumstances, before they dash off in opposite directions.

EXT. STERN DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Sherlock comes out of the main entrance, sees Chester and walks to him as quickly as he can without getting noticed. Chester is almost done with the last knot when Sherlock reaches him.

SHERLOCK  
I thought the river tour was this afternoon.

Chester turns to Sherlock in surprise, drops the rope and runs to the towboat.

SHERLOCK  
John, he’s headed towards you.

EXT. BOW DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Chester looks over his shoulder towards Sherlock. When he turns back he gets tackled by John. They wrestle on the deck. John manages to hold Chester face down with his arm twisted behind his back when the towboat motor starts. It distracts John enough for Chester to break free of John’s hold and knock him out.

INT. WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy and Jake are walking inside the museum when they hear the towboat motor.

AMY  
Oh no.

JAKE  
Yeah, that can’t be good.

HOLT  
( _on headset_ )  
What is it?

Amy is about to speak when they hear a sickening thud and John cry out in pain.

SHERLOCK  
( _on headset_ )  
John!

HOLT  
( _on headset_ )  
What’s going on?

AMY  
The towboat motor just started. We don’t have a visual on Watson and Holmes, we’re inside the museum.

EXT. BOW DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Sherlock is kneeling next to John. Chester is in the background climbing onto the towboat.

JOHN  
I’m fine. I can take a punch.

Sherlock offers John a hand. John takes it and stands.

JOHN  
Let’s go.

Sherlock stops John with a hand to his chest. John looks down at Sherlock’s hand then looks up.

SHERLOCK  
You’re bleeding.

JOHN  
I’m fine. Come on, we have to get on the towboat before it starts moving.

SHERLOCK  
What happened to self-preservation?

JOHN  
That was about refusing treatment, not about me pushing through when we’re chasing a criminal.

Sherlock pulls his hand away from John’s chest and looks away. John sighs.

JOHN  
I’ll make sure to get checked out when this is over. And so will you. If you need to. Hopefully you won’t. Can we go catch a criminal now?

Sherlock eyes John quickly and nods before they run after Chester.

JAKE  
( _on headset_ )  
Did he nod? I’m sure he nodded.

AMY & HOLT  
( _on headset_ )  
Shut up, Jake.

INT. BACKUP VAN - DAY  
Boyle hangs up with dispatch.

BOYLE  
It’s going to take about thirty minutes to get an NYPD boat.

HOLT  
We can’t wait that long. Boyle and Lestrade, you go help Peralta and Santiago evacuate the museum. Diaz and I will find a boat.

INT. - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy and Jake take out their badges and raise them in the air.

JAKE  
NYPD, evacuate the museum immediately! This is an emergency!

The visitors look around, curious and concerned but they don’t move.

AMY  
( _in a scary voice_ )  
Out! Everyone out! Come on, let’s go people! Move it! Move it!

Amy’s shouting jars them into action. They start evacuating the museum. Jake stares at Amy.

JAKE  
That voice with the flipped up collar is like ten times scarier.

AMY  
Good to know.

EXT. STERN DECK - TOWBOAT  - DAY  
John and Sherlock climb onto the towboat and quickly hide behind a crate. Sherlock signals John to stay there then moves closer to the cabin. While Sherlock looks left, Chester jumps out from the right and body slams Sherlock against the wall. Sherlock grunts and breaks free of Chester’s hold.

JOHN  
Sherlock I--

SHERLOCK  
( _out of breath_ )  
I can manage.

John, lips pinched, stays behind the crate and watches Sherlock dodge Chester’s punch.

EXT. BOARDWALK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Boyle and Lestrade jog towards the museum where civilians are evacuating.

BOYLE  
Do you think Holmes and Watson will risk their lives and the adrenaline rush will give them that little push to finally confess their love to one another and kiss in the sunset?

LESTRADE  
Doubt it.

BOYLE  
So sad.

EXT. STERN DECK - TOWBOAT  - DAY  
Sherlock is struggling against Chester and gets a knee to the stomach.

SHERLOCK  
( _through gritted teeth_ )  
Will you all shut up?!

BOYLE  
( _on headset_ )  
Sorry.

Sherlock breaks free of Chester’s hold, takes a few steps back to catch his breath. Chester comes at Sherlock again, attempting a punch to the face. Sherlock dodges and uses the momentum to shove Chester aside, stumbling. A gunshot goes off and whistles over Sherlock’s shoulder. civilians scream in the distance.

JOHN  
Sherlock!

Sherlock ducks and hurries to join John behind the crates. John looks up and sees the shooter in the cabin.

LESTRADE  
( _on headset_ )  
You two alright?

Chester runs to the ladder that leads to the cabin.

JOHN  
Fine. We’re getting shot at, but we’re fine.

John takes out his gun, aims for Chester’s leg, and shoots. Chester tumbles off the ladder, sprawled on the deck, holding his leg and moaning.

JOHN  
Chester is down.

John looks up at the cabin and tries to take aim and fires two shots before lowering his gun.

JOHN  
I can’t get a clear shot of the shooter from here.

John notices Sherlock staring.

JOHN  
What?

SHERLOCK  
You brought your gun.

JOHN  
I’m surprised you didn’t notice, but more importantly: you really think I brought my illegal gun to America?

SHERLOCK  
I assumed Mycroft got it in for you.

JOHN  
Of course not. He gave me a new one.

SHERLOCK  
Oh. Good.

A gunshot goes off, hitting the crate they’re hiding behind.

SHERLOCK  
I think you pissed off the accomplice.

Another gunshot, hitting the deck this time.

JOHN  
Oh, you think I pissed him off?

EXT. PIER 12 - DAY  
Holt and Rosa make their way to the reception desk and show their badges.

HOLT  
Captain Holt, NYPD. We need to commandeer a boat to pursue the Waterfront Barge Museum.

ROSA  
A fast one.

The receptionist stares at them with a blank look but does not move.

HOLT  
This is an emergency.

The receptionist doesn’t move. Rosa lays a hand flat on the counter and leans closer to the receptionist with a death glare.

ROSA  
Now.

The receptionist picks up the phone.

EXT. STERN DECK - TOWBOAT - DAY  
John and Sherlock are still hidden behind the crate. In the background we see Chester limping towards a door, leaving a blood trail behind him.

SHERLOCK  
You distract the shooter while I climb up to the cabin.

John looks at Sherlock with a frown, looks up at the cabin, at Chester, then back at Sherlock.

JOHN  
Fine.

The sound of the towboat motor changes, making both Sherlock and John jolt as the boat starts moving.

EXT. BOW DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
The towboat begins to move, its propellers lifting the rope joining the two boats out of the water. Once the rope pulls taut, there’s a jerk as the barge starts dragging along behind the towboat.

EXT. MAIN ENTRANCE - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
When the barge moves, there are screams from the last few museum visitors. They run and jump onto the boardwalk before it's too far.

EXT. BOW DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Amy, Jake, Boyle and Lestrade run out of the museum to the edge of the bow deck and watch from afar Sherlock climbing up to the cabin of the towboat.

AMY  
The museum is evacuated, but we’re stranded on the barge. You two are on your own.

BOYLE  
I hope Holt and Diaz get here with a boat soon.

EXT. BOW DECK - TOWBOAT ON THE RIVER - DAY  
John is tying up Chester, who is leaning against a crate.

JOHN  
We should be able to manage until they get here.

John crouches in front of Chester and starts inspecting his gunshot wound. He looks around them and gets a rope and starts tying it around Chester’s leg, a few inches above the wound.

JOHN  
There you go.

Chester squints at John.

JOHN  
Any headache? Nausea?

Chester shakes his head.

JOHN  
Good. So who hired you?

Chester shakes his head. John slaps him.

CHESTER  
Ow, what was that for?

JOHN  
Because I asked you a question and you didn’t answer. So let’s try again. Who hired you?

CHESTER  
What kind of cop are you?

JOHN  
I’m not a cop. Who hired you?

CHESTER  
He’ll kill me if I talk.

JOHN  
You think I won’t?

Chester’s eyes widen. John smiles.

LESTRADE  
( _on headset_ )  
John, could you at least try not to threaten the suspect when you have a bunch of cops listening in?

There’s a sound of glass breaking in the headset.

EXT. TOWBOAT CABIN - DAY  
Sherlock is hanging half out of the broken window. He is fighting with the shooter, trying to keep the gun angled away from his face. With an angry growl, the shooter pulls away. Sherlock quickly shifts to trip him. The cabin is so small the shooter hits the wall instead of stumbling to the floor, but still drops the gun. Sherlock dives to grab it but the shooter tackles him before he can reach it.

EXT. BOARDWALK - PIER 12 - DAY  
Holt and Rosa are walking along the boardwalk with a Pier 12 employee. The barge is in the distance, slowly making its way onto the river.

EMPLOYEE  
What’s the barge doing on the water? It’s not scheduled until this afternoon. I should call this in.

The Pier employee takes out his phone. There’s a gunshot in the distance.

EMPLOYEE  
Wait, that sounded like it came from--

ROSA  
The barge, we know, that’s why we need a boat. Someone is trying to steal the barge.

EMPLOYEE  
What?! But they--I--

ROSA  
Just give me the keys.

EMPLOYEE  
What? But I can’t--

HOLT  
Give her the keys.

EMPLOYEE  
Do you even know how to--?

HOLT  
Now!

Wide-eyes, the employee hands the keys. Rosa jumps onto the boat and starts the motor. The employee quickly unties the boat while Holt climbs on.

ROSA  
Hold on.

Rosa pushes the lever and the boat speeds off onto the river, making Holt stumble.

EXT. TOWBOAT CABIN - DAY  
Pinned against the wall, Sherlock knees the shooter in the stomach. With a painful grunt, the shooter releases his hold and moves away. They look at each other as they catch their breath. They both look towards the gun on the floor, at each other, then both dive for it. The shooter is closest, so he reaches the gun first.

EXT. BOW DECK - TOWBOAT ON THE RIVER - DAY  
John is a few feet away from a whimpering Chester, listening to the grunts, heavy breathing, and banging with a frown.

JOHN  
You need help up there? Chester isn’t going anywhere.

There’s a gunshot and the fighting sounds stop. John looks up. He can’t see Sherlock.

JOHN  
Sherlock?

EXT. BOW DECK - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Lestrade, Boyle, Amy, and Jake look towards the towboat. From this POV, Sherlock is not visible to the group.

JOHN  
( _on headset_ )  
Sherlock? Sod this, I’m going up there.

Group POV: John climbs up the ladder to the cabin. Once he’s at the top, the group can no longer see him.

JOHN  
( _on headset, softly_ )  
Sherlock?

There’s a long silence. Amy is wide-eyed, face half hidden by her coat collar. Jake is frowning, hands on his hips, shifting from one foot to the other. Lestrade and Boyle are pacing in the background.

JOHN  
( _on headset_ )  
What the--ah!

There’s a muffled sound, then a crash and the line goes dead.

LESTRADE  
Shit.

JAKE  
Shit.

BOYLE  
Nonononono.

Amy takes out her mobile phone.

AMY  
Come on Captain, answer, answer.

Amy checks her phone for a signal as the sound of a speedboat slowly comes closer. Boyle is the first to hear the sound and turn around.

BOYLE  
Oh, thank God.

Lestrade, Jake, and Amy all turns to see what Boyle is looking at.

EXT. SPEEDBOAT - DAY  
Holt and Rosa ride in on the speedboat looking like bosses with their sunglasses. (drop the beat)

EXT. PORT BOW - WATERFRONT BARGE MUSEUM - DAY  
Jake, Amy, Boyle, and Lestrade are all lined up along the edge of the barge as Rosa and Holt ride in on the speedboat.

AMY  
We just lost contact with Holmes and Watson. We need to get to the towboat now.

Holt and Rosa help Amy, Jake, Boyle, and Lestrade climb onto the speedboat.

ROSA  
Hold on.

Rosa pushes the lever and the boat speeds off. Everyone except Holt stumbles.

EXT. CABIN - TOWBOAT - DAY  
John is crouched next to the cabin. He slowly raises to get a look inside. POV John: there is nobody in sight. Gun at the ready, John opens the door, then peers inside. He sees the shooter on the floor, unconscious, leaning against the control panel.

INT. CABIN - TOWBOAT - DAY  
John enters the cabin, checks the shooter’s breathing. As he does, someone grabs him from behind, covering his mouth.

JOHN  
What the-ah!

John struggles and tries to shake away the hand that is taking off his headset. Suddenly John is released. He turns around, ready to fight, and sees Sherlock smashing the headset.

JOHN  
What the hell, Sherlock!

SHERLOCK  
I wanted to speak in private.

JOHN  
You could have just asked!

SHERLOCK  
This was more efficient.

JOHN  
Are you hurt?

SHERLOCK  
What? No. Well, nothing serious. Doesn’t matter, we need to talk.

John rolls his eyes and moves closer to Sherlock to looks at his wounds.

SHERLOCK  
I’m in love with you.

John stops halfway to Sherlock and goes very still.

SHERLOCK  
I’m aware these aren’t ideal conditions to discuss this, but I’ve had enough of waiting for the right moment. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times that I… At first I was convinced you didn’t return my feelings, until it was too late and I… left. Then I came back and you were with… After everything was over you moved back in and it’s… It’s been the happiest I’ve ever been. Having you back home. With me. I meant it, what I said last night. I will take better care of myself. I can’t promise I won’t mess up sometimes, but I will try my best, if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you.

John stares at Sherlock.

SHERLOCK  
John?

John blinks and inhales like he had forgotten to breathe. He looks at Sherlock, opens his mouth, closes it, takes a step back, then walks up to Sherlock and whispers:

JOHN  
Oh, God yes.

Just before they kiss. (like, an epic-years-of-pining first kiss).

JOHN  
I love you too.

Kissing intensifies. John’s hands disappear in Sherlock’s hair while Sherlock grabs John’s jacket to pull him closer. A small moan escapes John when Sherlock’s tongue makes an appearance. In the background the speedboat arrives.

CUT TO:

Speedboat POV: As they pull up, Amy is the first to see Sherlock and John making out in the cabin. She gasps, both hands covering her mouth. Jake looks at her then at where she’s looking.

JAKE  
Oh my God.

BOYLE  
Yes! Woo!

LESTRADE  
About time.

ROSA  
Nice.

Holt punches the air.

HOLT  
Vindication!

**END PART 4**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably mention the "cursed coins" don't exist for realz. But the Waterfront Barge Museum does. And I took some liberties on like, space-time things to create tension, cause Pier 12 is like, close but not that close to the Barge.


	6. Closing scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closing scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big big thanks to mah wonderful Beta's for helping me whip this story into shape.  
> Thank you all for reading. I had a blast writing this story.
> 
> P.S.  
> As promised, check the comments for a few cut jokes.

**CLOSING SCENE**

INT. BULLPEN - 99TH PRECINCT - DAY  
Lestrade, Sherlock, and John come out of the elevator. Everyone in the bullpen starts whistling and catcalling them.

LESTRADE  
Alright, that’s enough.

BOYLE  
It will never be enough for these two.  
( _to Jake and Amy_ )  
No offense.

Amy waves in the general direction of Boyle while she continues staring at John and Sherlock. Jake raises an eyebrow at Amy.

SHERLOCK  
Are you alright Captain? You’re practically bouncing around like a puppy.

Jake, Terry, Amy, Rosa, Boyle, Scully and Hitchcock look from Sherlock to Holt. Holt has the same impassive face as always.

HOLT  
I’m simply happy for the both of you.

LESTRADE  
Well, we wanted--

SHERLOCK  
No, you wanted. I wanted something else.

Sherlock eyes John. John blushes.

GINA  
Hot.

LESTRADE  
We just wanted to come by to thank you for your help. We couldn’t have done it without you.

Sherlock turns to Lestrade with a frown. He opens his mouth to speak and is beaten to the punch by Amy.

AMY  
What? Of course Holmes would have solved it without us. I mean, it was our pleasure to work with you. Please come back soon.

Sherlock looks Amy up and down.

SHERLOCK  
Email me about that mentorship.

Amy looks like she’s about to jump up and down but pushes down the urge.

AMY  
I will. Yes. For sure.

HOLT  
Mentorship?

Wide-eyed, Amy goes from Holt, to Sherlock, and back to Holt.

AMY  
It’s nothing against you sir, I just, I mean, it’s Sherlock Holmes--

HOLT  
( _to Sherlock_ )  
May I join you?

Sherlock eyes Holt.

SHERLOCK  
No matter what I say you will find a way to participate, won’t you?

HOLT  
…Yes.

SHERLOCK  
Fine.

Amy smiles brightly. Holt nods.

HOLT  
Thank you.

SHERLOCK  
No need to make a scene, Captain.

JOHN  
( _to Rosa)_  
I enjoyed working with you.

ROSA  
Me too.

JOHN  
Thanks for…  
( _John looks at Sherlock and back at Rosa_ )  
You know.

ROSA  
Getting your head out of your ass?

John nods non-commitally.

ROSA  
You’re welcome.

BOYLE  
( _to Lestrade_ )  
I’m going to miss you.

Boyle and Lestrade hug.

LESTRADE  
Me too. When you come visit you can stay at my place. That way we can spend more on restaurants.

BOYLE  
A tour of London restaurants, it’s going to look great on my blog.

LESTRADE  
And remember, you need to think about you first.

BOYLE  
Thank you, Greg.

GINA  
Still weird.

ROSA  
You still gonna try and steal Lestrade’s shirt?

GINA  
Obviously. I’m friends with the head of security at JFK. Guess who’s going to get randomly seaaaarched?

Rosa shakes her head.

LESTRADE  
Come on lovebirds, we’ve got a plane to catch.

SHERLOCK  
Don’t use that term ever again.

LESTRADE  
What, lovebirds?

SHERLOCK  
Don’t.

BOYLE  
How about cuddle bunnies?

JOHN  
God no.

BOYLE  
Sugar cookie?

Sherlock stares at Boyle as if a third arm was growing out of his forehead.

LESTRADE  
Charles, these two can only have one pet name: idiots.

John and Sherlock half grin. Everyone else frowns.

LESTRADE  
For taking so long to talk to each other and figure things out.

General nodding of understanding.

SHERLOCK  
It’s better than sugar muffin.

JOHN  
Sugar cookie.

LESTRADE  
Let’s go idiots, we have a plane to catch.

John, Sherlock and Lestrade walk to the elevator. Sherlock looks back.

SHERLOCK  
One last thing.  
( _Sherlock looks from Amy to Jake_ )  
Don’t be idiots.

Jake and Amy look at each other before looking away blushing. The elevator dings and the doors open. Sherlock walks inside with John and Lestrade on either side. Sherlock flips his collar up, having some type of ‘Zoolander’ moment, and the elevator doors start closing.

JAKE  
Woah.

BOYLE  
Damn.

ROSA  
Damn.

TERRY  
Damn.

GINA  
So hot.

JOHN  
Show off.

The elevator doors close. Holt swoons.

**CUE END CREDITS**

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was picturing this story in my head, it started off with the opening song to Brooklyn 99, so I feel it’s fitting that it end with the Sherlock theme. Or both, you know, both are good. Like, I’m sure a mash up is possible. Or make the Sherlock theme funkier. Oooh, that could be nice…  
> Anyway, I can't believe it's over! This was a crazy story but such a thrill to write. I love these characters with all my heart and it was a joy to imagine them try to work together. I hope you had as much fun reading as I did dreaming up this crazy universe.  
> I can't confirm sequels, even if there is a high chance imma work on that halloween special episode with Sherlock and John and post it next halloween. We'll see!!  
> Thanks for reading! Remember to check the comments for cut jokes :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you had fun!


End file.
